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I don't think it's that I have more responsibilities, I think it's just that I have less energy. Anyway, let's dive in:

1. I've been trying to get Dog #2. This has been going on for about a year, and it seems every time something interrupts the plan:

-- Turned down puppy viewing and adult viewing because I realised we'd need a multi-trade job done on the bathroom.
-- Couldn't get to the location, my taxi driver has developed cataracts.
-- Was turned down by 3 Rescues (one because Jake can't be neutered, one because of the fencing, one because of undisclosed reasons, but I think that's because I was asking about muzzle training. For context, the dog in question had a history of resource guarding and a claimed attempt of attempting to bite someone).
-- Two meet and greets, one unsuccessful, one I turned down feeling anxious that there was no 'click' between the two dogs.

Yadda yadda yadda. The current one - foregoing the home visit which I suspect would have failed because of our fence (which bugs me to no end, because I wouldn't let an untrained dog in the garden without a harness and training lead on anyway, but I digress) we had progressed to the next stage and then my aunt and uncle advised they would be doing a trip to the northwest coast here - which has seriously been one of the best holidays ever where I would just take Jake to the beach in like 3-4 hour stretches.)

Well, I can't bring a new untrained non-decompressed dog in the home and then drag them onto a holiday with two new dogs (one with a history of resource-guarding) and two new strangers. I don't even think the let allows for it. So, I cancelled the home-check. (Honestly, I was feeling a bit iffy about the rescue as well. I asked them if I could consider a dog that was estimated to grow much smaller as well and they said that dog was reserved, but he's still on the rescue page. I think they were trying to gear me toward taking this specific puppy, and that's a red flag to me.)

It never occurred to me how hard it would be to adopt a dog even after I got past the being single, the renting, the not having had a dog as an adult, having an unneutered dog per veterinary advice. I always thought if I could just get past the application stage I'd make it, but one of the reasons I could prepare adequately for Jake was because even when I was pushed up on the waiting list? I had eight weeks to prepare for Jake coming home. That meant:

- Time arranged off work and approval from management to work from home.
- Vet, walkers, daycares, toys, crates, insurance, health care plan worked out.

Yes, lots of stuff got thrown in the air because he had behavioural issues, but that preparation made a HUGE difference. And then the other thing is people didn't make plans that included me because they knew I was dealing with a new puppy.

Rescues you get basically none of that. You apply, you're probably selected or not and expected to do a meet-and-greet and a home-check all within a week. So not only are you not really prepared, but no one even knows and so you're still included in the plans.

I still want to rescue long-term, or foster, but I really do think that might have to be the third dog at this point. I've decided I'm not going to worry about it. Honestly, if I'm not going to a BYB or mill breeder, it isn't anyone else's business where my dog's come from. And the people I'm looking at are not mills.

The main one I'm interested in right now is a Spaniel breeder (I don't think a second dog should be Jake's size or I'd be overwhelmed on walks). They have a lot of really great reviews, they are fully open about their facilities, they interview, and they offer to keep socialising the puppy for 16 weeks. (Which means that the puppy will be a lot closer to being fully toilet-trained as well.)

I'm thinking I'll foster as well when the house and fencing and gates are more fixed up, focusing on seniors or stranger-danger cases. And then I can always adopt a dog from that. I always planned on 2-3 dogs. And I've been told 4-5 years is probably the best time to introduce a second dog.

2. We got a Positive Intake Vent and bathroom fan installed at the house, and a dryer. So that should pretty much eliminate any condensation build up in the house over the winter. There should be no damp or mould. I'm also hoping to get dehumidifiers and air purifiers.

3. The attachment I ordered a replacement for for the vacuum finally arrived on Friday so I'm going to take it for a test run today. I'm working up to that. I'm a bit exhausted because we're in the winter swing of things.

4. I'm chasing the public bodies again regarding the trees lining the river behind the house. I've made zero progress. I'm concerned. I do not want the tree to fall into my garden, or worse, my house. At least I haven't put in a new fence or gate yet. I'm factoring that in to how I time repairs - why replace a fence or gate that will have a huge tree crash down on it? Why try landscaping?

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I think we did really good this year for the house. We're coming up to a year in the house:

We changed the locks.
We replaced the shower tray and enclosure.
We replaced the cooker and sockets in the kitchen.
We replaced and updated the sockets in the sitting room to be double-sockets and have USB-C Ports.
We installed the PIV and bathroom fan (which will reduce condensation in the house and eliminate it from gathering in colder areas because the air is constantly moving.)
We removed a good amount of wallpaper.
We overpaid roughly 5% or at least will be on track to have done so if I keep overpaying the same amount I am now.

Did we do everything on my list? No, of course not. That list is very long. On my list for this year I also ambitiously put 'convert to gas or heat pump, replace the fence, replace the kitchen, remove the wallpaper, replace the flooring, repaint. But we don't make enough money for all that, really.

So, my main goals next year:

1. Overpay 5% minimum (goal - 10%. But realistically, I am realising 5% is plenty to reduce our payments by a lot, and still let us work on the house. Plus my thought is if we overpay 5% minimum, later years when big jobs are done I can then turn around and overpay 15-20%, especially if I get a job that pays more or is so close to home I can walk my own dog during lunch.)

2. Convert to GFCH and turn the place where the burner is now into a washer/dryer area.

3. Renew the kitchen.

4. Replace flooring.

5. Repaint downstairs.

Is it a hefty goal? Yes. Am I likely to achieve it? Well, it absolutely depends on my career. If I get a job that pays the median or higher NI Wage, yes, I can make this happen. If Patrick is contributing to savings as much as I do to overpayments, it can happen.

Otherwise, I will be lucky if two of these things get done. If I can only do part of the list my priorities are in the same order. Overpaying > GFCH (unless our OFCH fails anyway) > Kitchen replacement (mostly because I need to move the washing machine out of the kitchen and where the burner is if we're going to get a dishwasher in that space instead.)

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My sister and I are getting along much better nowadays, since she realised I was neither lying nor exaggerating about how dysfunctional things were at home. She's still super busy but at least sometimes she responds to me, and sometimes we even watch shows. She also had a shit husband, who she is now divorced from, but she's trying to get back out there.

Personally, I'm at a point where I can't even imagine dating again? I did try back around when I first moved out here. It was awful. I have come to the conclusion that I can't attract what I'm interested in and so tend to only draw people who are only interested in me because they can't find better. And more importantly, that I don't deserve nor want to deal with that.

I've been... Happy? Like yes, I'd like to earn money so I could take Jake and a second dog, who I could afford very easily, and go on fancy holidays and hikes everywhere in the UK and Europe. I'd like to be able to afford all the classes I want to take (rowing, sailing, trades courses, vocational courses, academic) without concern, as well as tutors where necessary. I'd consider one child in some circumstances, but they mostly involve a lot more money and a much more flexible schedule where I can be heavily involved in the child's upbringing and education, and not be reliant on a secondary income. So, probably not. And I'm happy with that decision.

Now, that's not to say I don't also struggle with clinical depression here and there, or anxiety. But it doesn't have nearly as much of a grip as it does when you don't have secure housing or work. When the house is modernised and fully decorated, it will be bitchin'. Well, for me anyway.

I'm going to try to start getting rid of more things (donating/giving away) until this house is mostly empty except for dog supplies. I'm constantly battling against Patrick trying to hoard things, and I can be a bit of a pack rat myself.

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The stuff going on in the USA is atrocious right now, and I wish I could help my friends out there, but I don't even know how. Except when I can donating a little money here and there. I feel like the UK isn't far behind unfortunately. Which reminds me I should also work on getting my Irish passport.

Over here, they are really trying to push USian-styled private healthcare. It's absolutely bonkers to me that they can actually witness what is going on in the USA, and they don't believe that's what they'd get. The damn movement is being lobbied for by US companies. But you can't fix stupid. USians over here keep trying to tell locals you don't want to gut the NHS. Don't listen to Farage. Don't give up your national healthcare! But they sit there and moan about lines. Never even realising that if tens of millions of people suddenly need private healthcare, they will still be waiting in lines. They'll just be paying a shit-ton of money for it.

And then to add insult to injury, they will say 'why don't they just go to a public hospital' when someone is in medical debt. Even explaining, they DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT'S ALL PRIVATE UNLESS YOU'RE ON MEDICAID OR MEDICARE. Or they'll talk about they never wait for healthcare under their private insurance, except over here emergency issues GET REFERRED TO THE NHS. They can't comprehend a TRULY private healthcare system.

So they post about wanting to go to private healthcare and the USians are like, 'No, trust us, you don't, it will bankrupt you' 'Well but surely you can just go to the public hospitals then?'

Which makes me think about Derry girls and the rich girl asking them why they don't just use their trust fund lol.

https://www.tiktok.com/@k_dofinbos/video/7374221540101082410

Anyway... That's probably about it for my day. I'm going to get ready for bed and then run the vacuum around the house with the new attachment.